i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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