I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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