Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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