She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Randomize
