my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
