Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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