I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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