You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
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i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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