What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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