i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
