dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Randomize
