someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Semen is not good for contacts.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize