Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Randomize