Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
