how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry