Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!