It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?