You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
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I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
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I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together