'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?