I just cut my nipple shaving
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.