do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
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