did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
