Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
that's an acceptable place to lick
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
