have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
