just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
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