so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
