he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
splinters make it hard to masturbate
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
