i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Randomize
