That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
