mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
