You're so nebulous sometimes
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Couch. On fire.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
