WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Randomize
