I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
