I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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