hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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