Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
