Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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