Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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