Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
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