I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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