wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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