So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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