Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Maybe he injected his testicle?
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
