bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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