I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
