Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
