Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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