Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
whose parrot is this?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
