You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
