ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
