Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old