I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle