all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.