The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
i used baking grease as lip gloss
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.