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Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
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