Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.