Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(703): View more from Virginia

Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.

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(703): Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii. http://tfl.nu/5g9i

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(216): View more from Ohio

dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."

(814): View more from Pennsylvania

so im guessing thats a no.....

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(216): dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits." (814): so im guessing thats a no..... http://tfl.nu/rer4

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(303): View more from Colorado

i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special

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(303): i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special http://tfl.nu/5558

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(614): View more from Ohio

Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.

(1-614): View more from Ohio

I had better be fucking involved with step four.

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(614): Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez. (1-614): I had better be fucking involved with step four. http://tfl.nu/poz4

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(240): View more from Maryland

Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating

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(240): Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating http://tfl.nu/ynhz

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.

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(401): she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride. http://tfl.nu/b4k2

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(425): View more from Washington

I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.

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(425): I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to. http://tfl.nu/l558

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.

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(617): Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever. http://tfl.nu/bxqj

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(919): View more from North Carolina

every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends

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(919): every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends http://tfl.nu/8jwh

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(716): View more from New York

He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.

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(716): He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly. http://tfl.nu/0f1o

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(510): View more from California

Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.

(1-510): View more from California

That is one convoluted booty call.

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(510): Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week. (1-510): That is one convoluted booty call. http://tfl.nu/bxw4

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(847): View more from Illinois

I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.

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(847): I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet. http://tfl.nu/ancz

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(970): View more from Colorado

I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."

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(970): I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend." http://tfl.nu/7i0l

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(859): View more from Kentucky

I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.

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(859): I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now. http://tfl.nu/jyw8

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(701): View more from North Dakota

Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.

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(701): Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that. http://tfl.nu/ctxr

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