I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang