It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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