If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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