OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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