You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
