I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
