Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize