Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
