In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
